It's been a couple of weeks since I did an update on our adoption. It's been busy and a little stressful. I admit I lost a few nights sleep last week as revisions to our home study were made. But it is done and it is now off in the mail to the USCIS with our application. We were trying to wrap up that part of the adoption process during the regular craziness that typically goes on around here. We've had extra doctors visits & and an emergency dentist appointment, some emotionally heartbreaking stuff happening to people we love very much and me having a 2 week long migraine. YEAH! There really never is a dull moment around here. I can honestly say I have not been bored in years. Not even for a minute.
Our awesome facilitator is starting our dossier. So now we wait some more. Wait for paperwork to fill out and gather for that process. Wait for the letter to come from USCIS with our appointment day to get our fingerprint scan in Durham. Then wait for the appointment. (We may try to do it early).
I consider myself a patient woman. After all I waited 37 years to find my Christopher. It was a long wait and at times I was really discouraged, but I was pretty patient I think. The reward for my patience is this hunk.
Back off ladies, he's mine!
This time waiting is a little different. I didn't know who my husband would be or even if he existed. I didn't have a face to look at in photos. I didn't know his name or where he lived.
I know the face of my son. I know his name and where he lives. I know he is waiting for us and that he loves us too. I know he exists because I held him in my arms while he cried, I saw him riding a bike up and down our street and I sat next to him every night at the dinner table for a month. I heard him call me Mama. This waiting is very different. It's even different than when I adopted my daughter. That was a 2 year process, but at least she was with me the whole time. It was hard because there were alot of court dates and alot of setbacks but I knew that eventually she would officially be my daughter and I could hold her everyday while I waited.
It's hard not to be anxious about it really. I'm anxious to have him home, to get to know him better, to learn more about his life so far. I'm anxious to take him EVERYWHERE. To the beach, the zoo & the museums. To teach him English so he can communicate with us better. To learn some Russian myself. To take him through the McD's drive thru for ice cream again.
I want him to meet all our our family and friends. I wonder what he did today. How he is doing in school. What his friends are like. Did he get the package we sent him? Is he wondering why we didn't call (we tried)? Does he think we forgot about him again? Are the older boys picking on him? Did he get to keep the stuff we sent him? Did he like what we sent?
Everyday I have a little quiet time in the morning. I have to get my thoughts in order before I really start my day. Because I know me. I will get anxious. I will calm down and have peace then 15 minutes later my mind will start racing again. I will start thinking about him and all that has to be done to get him here and prepare for him to be here.
Then I remember what I told Andriy over and over again when he was here. You see there is something my son and I have in common. He gets anxious too. He didn't want to go home. He wanted to stay. He begged us to come get him. I'm sure he is wondering when we are coming. We have heard that he has asked more than one person how long this process takes. How long will it be before Mama and Papa come for him. How much paperwork is involved. He is probably even more anxious than I am. I kept telling Andriy over and over again that God has a plan for him and we need to be patient while He works out His plan. So I have to keep reminding myself of that and pray that he remembers what his Mama told him too. We both have to remember this every minute of the day.
Here is what I read in my quiet time the other day. From Jesus Calling by Sarah Young.
"Trust Me one day at a time. This keeps you close to Me, responsive to My will. Trust is not a natural response, especially for those who have been deeply wounded. My Spirit within you is your resident Tutor, helping you in this supernatural endeavor. Yield to His gentle touch; be sensitive to His prompting.
Exert your will to trust Me in all circumstances. Don't let your need to understand distract you from My Presence. I will equip you to get through this day victoriously, as you live in deep dependence on Me. Tomorrow is busy worrying about itself; don't get tangled up in its worry-webs. Trust Me on day at a time."
O LORD of hosts, How blessed is the man who trusts in You!
So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
So it's March and I'm trying not to go mad with anxiety and the waiting. We are only 9 weeks into this process. I know we have a loooooooooong way to go. I'm trying to be patient and wait on the Lord and praying Andriy is being patient too.